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Post by latmat on Jul 10, 2007 23:08:33 GMT
Hey Guys Alright I have a new one up. Lyrically pretty strange to me lol not too sure about this. Vocally weird... for me at least. The tempo is the quickest I've done in my own writing as of yet. I tend to stick around 80 - 120 this one is at 136... Alright the tune is on my soundclick page. www.soundclick.com/cameronpierceIt's called Elementary Love (I'l be Yours if You'll be Mine) As always I'm open to all comments suggestions or complaints ;D Thanks Guys! Cameron
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Post by mcarp555 on Jul 11, 2007 22:21:22 GMT
Interesting. I like the lyric, but I'm not so keen on the production. A few notes:
- Intro just 'starts', but nothing really happens with it until the verse starts
- Acoustic guitar sounds a bit dull in the verses. I'd EQ it brighter, or get new strings
- Electric guitar sounds 'turgid' in the choruses. It's a bit muddy and just rumbles along
- The end just ends, boom
My gut feeling is that this is very much a pop song, wrapped up to sound like a heavier rock tune. But the inherent 'poppiness' of it is bursting out at the seams. For example, I can hear syncopated handclaps ('bump-da-bump', or for the more technical-minded, dotted quarter, eighth, dotted quarter again) throughout the choruses.
(side idea: might be something daring when the chorus repeats the second time at the end, to pull everything out of the mix except the vocal and handclaps... hmm?)
The guitar in the choruses could play a little riff, a la 'Best Friend's Girl' by the Cars.
Bottom line, I think it's a catchy little song, but it's weighed down by some hardrockin' boots, as it were.
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Post by latmat on Jul 31, 2007 12:58:58 GMT
Thanks Mike
I need to re-think the whole instrumentaion abit... THere's a nice little appegio but its all distorted so its barely heard as such... I'm with you... I'll have to fix this...
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Post by latmat on Sept 2, 2007 5:35:43 GMT
Hey Mike if your interested I fixed this actually a few weeks back I think... Now has a intro riff which is silmular to melody with a lick or two... The ending is spread out a bit more now as well...
Thanks again!
Cameron
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Post by mcarp555 on Sept 2, 2007 13:58:48 GMT
Better. I think it could still be improved upon, but the vocal is clearer than last time (or at least relative to the guitars). It might be very instructive to listen to about a minute of 'Hesitation' before listening to this one again. . .
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